Whispers and truth

In 2015 I set a goal.
That's right probably just one goal:
to attend She Speaks in 2016.

Cowboy was so supportive in helping me pray and work and step out in faith toward this goal.
I was determined to have a book proposal ready and two completed chapters.
I fell just short of the goal and in the weeks before the conference the enemy was on the prowl. 

First he whispered "You're not good enough..."
I fired back with "My God is greater...My God is stronger...

Then he distracted me with "Look at how many are already out there..."
I stumbled and then fired back "Many are the plans of a man, but the Lord's purpose will stand..."

And then, he hit my people. 
My seven. I was completely discouraged.

I opened my 5 minute speech about family and parenting and clicked that satisfying little trash can.
I'm not a quitter, so I stared at a blank screen. I sifted through files for ideas, and there it was.
 I found a file where I had simply typed the words of 2 Corinthians 4  a year before. 
"We do not lose heart."

I wept tears of relief. Truth.
The enemy doesn't just want my schedule, my marriage, my kids, or my writing.
The enemy wants me to lose heart.

Well I wasn't giving in that easily. I set my pride aside, typed out a humble one sheet, packed my cutest clothes (hey I don't get off the 'farm' very often), kissed my family and headed out.

"Fix your eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen"

The scene was set for a beautiful weekend.
The designer in me was delighted at the beautiful flowers and vignettes.
And just as expected, I met God in worship and learned from each session.

But...the real beauty was happening deep inside of me. 
Each doubt that existed inside of me was being chipped away and chiseled at by TRUTH.

Truth #1
God has given me gifts and words. BUT...those come without pressure to perform.
He will use them. In His time. I simply follow His lead loving Him and loving others.

Truth #2
God has allowed me a unique set of disappointments and hurts. 
BUT...others are hurting and so need "good girls" like me t
o show that we've been through inner hell and came out still praising HEAVEN!!

Truth #3
My world is a loud and crazy place. BUT every single time I meet Him in quiet I will find rest.
Physic rest. Emotional rest. Mental rest. 
And best of all...rest for my soul.

With those truths I was ready to live out another part of that message from 2 Corinthians 4
"I believed, therefore I have spoken"

So many other great things happened too!!

I won jewelry!!
I never win anything.

I had the perfect roommate (also from little old Iowa)
and no doubt a soul sister!!
(Those are embroidery hoops painted gold and letters added. My design heart went pitter-patter!)

I got to meet and spend time with some of Proverbs 31 OBS gals that I volunteer with!
(Our next study starts September 6th -- join us!)

Oh and that little humble one sheet didn't matter because I sat down with a publisher and professionally spoke from my heart and I'll be moving forward!!!

But seriously...that is SO small compared to what God did in ME.
I am loved. So are you.

Do you follow me on Instagram?
I'm having a book giveaway...

Don't forget to check out all the posts on the She Speaks Blog Hop and leave some love!!

(Photo credits by link in the photo.)

From R7 to you --
Be a blessing.

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1 comment:

Jodi said...

Hi Tenneil,
I SO enjoyed reading your recap on She Speaks. I love how you recognized the warfare and combated the enemy with God's truths. I also appreciated how you tucked in there that you were moving forward but the most important thing was the work God had done IN you. God is so good to meet us in our obedience. Keep moving forward girl! ;)

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